‘It’s never too late, to be who you might of been’
– George Eliot
‘It’s never too late, to be who you might of been’
– George Eliot
Lately I feel like I’m a spectator in life, watching from the sidelines as life passes me by.
If I’m honest, I’ve felt this way for some time now, I’ve just never taken the steps to make the necessary changes.
I fear that I spend too much time thinking about things and not enough time actually doing them. Perhaps I’m a talker and not a doer (Well, no perhaps needed!). Is it possible to spend so much time talking that you forget to actually do? Is it possible to spend your life talking about the type of life you want to be living, instead of simply living it? Thinking about the type of person you want to be, instead of simply being?
But how does a talker transform into a doer? How does a spectator become the star player?
I plan to immerse myself in living a more mindful life (or at the very least, TRY!). To be present in each moment, to discover and follow my dreams, to enjoy the small moments, to live a life that I’ll one day look back upon with a smile on my face, and love in my heart.
Each day is a new beginning.
Today is my new beginning.
They say ‘time flies when your having fun’. I feel this saying could also translate to ‘time flies when your busy, stressed, exhausted, have a baby, and feeling somewhat overwhelmed by life’. The last couple of months have been very busy and stressful in our household, hence my poor commitment to writing! How quickly we let our goals and things we enjoy fall by the wayside when life throws us a few curve balls.
My sister and I have been doing a lot of self reflecting in the lead up to the new year. We’ve been discussing areas we would like to improve in ourselves, our life, and the goals we’d like to achieve in the next 12 months. During this process we laughed at how we probably had similar (or to be honest in my case, the same!!) goals and thoughts this time last year. This made me wonder, how, or why does this happen? Am I simply unable to commit to a goal? Am I lacking motivation? Is my desire to achieve said goal simply not strong enough? Or am I too busy planning for the future that I don’t live for today?
It’s funny the things we take for granted in life; our morning coffee, our friends and family, our hopes and dreams, and the promise of a new day.
Few of us live each day like it may be the last. We often go to bed on an argument, leave words unspoken, put things off till tomorrow, and let our dreams fall by the wayside. We live for tomorrow, without even knowing it. We constantly plan for the future, but forget about today.
Why do we so often focus on the future and what may happen, and let today, the present moment, pass us by?
I confess that I am guilty of all the above. I am forever making plans, goals, and lists for the future, which often results in nothing being achieved as I am so busy thinking and planning for tomorrow and beyond that I forget about today. I go to bed on an argument and often leave words unspoken, always taking for granted that tomorrow will be there.
I wonder what life would be like, living in the present moment and giving it your all. To focus solely on the here and now and not what tomorrow may bring. Would life be happier? Easier? More fulfilling? Would more be achieved? Relationships improved?
Is it possible to truly live in the moment? If yes, how?
I feel blessed to have a husband who is very hands on with our baby girl.
He genuinely enjoys feeding, bathing, and playing with her. He walks in the door from work and wants to feed and bath her, whichever is still needed, despite me saying no, and telling him to relax.
I have however, been surprised by how many people have commented on how lucky I am to have a husband who feeds, bathes, and when needed, even does the overnight feed. When our daughter cries, he too will respond. When our daughter needs feeding, he is happy to feed her. When our daughter needs an evening bath, he is happy to bathe her. Why though, am I lucky? Why am I lucky that my husband, the father of my daughter, is happy to do these things? The decision to have a baby was a joint one. We both decided we wanted to have a child and knew all that this entailed (or at least what we thought it entailed!!). We both knew it would be hard and would take some sacrifice (sleep, for example!), therefore why am I lucky? Why is my husband praised for feeding and looking after his daughter, yet for me, it is simply expected and without recognition? I understand my husband goes to work each day, however, there have been many days where I have honestly felt that going into an office versus staying home, was the easy option. I’m curious, when I return to work in the coming months, and still need to feed my baby girl over night and attend to all her needs, will I then receive such praise? Will I be praised for looking after my daughter? I think not.
Therefore, I ask again, why am I lucky that my husband, who chose to become a father, is happy to help look after his daughter? Why are mothers not receiving the same recognition and praise that these so called helping fathers are?
Well, I’m ashamed to admit it but, as you can see, I’ve not written a post in well over 12 months. I had such grand plans when I originally created lovelifeandlaughter. I was going to immerse myself in writing, post every day, take photos, read and review books, it was going to be great! Hmmm.. something appears to have gone amiss. Life. Life happened. Since my last post I become busy with my career, my husband and I fostered a 9 year old girl, I became pregnant after 2 years of trying (yay!) and we now have a beautiful baby girl!
At the moment I find myself a little lost; I’m attempting to navigate my way through motherhood and this new journey that is now my life. So, I thought I would return to my love of writing and try to find a little bit of me, in a world that no longer feels like mine.
Therefore, I’m making a promise to myself, to lovelifeandlaughter, and to anyone who may be reading this. I promise to commit myself to this blog, to post daily, to being honest and reflective, and to fulfilling a goal I set out to achieve 2 years ago.
Wish me luck!
Wonder is a state in which we are both emotionally and intellectually aroused.
It makes us open to the world and all its possibilities.
It is the gateway to everything that matters.
– Caspar Henderson
I’m not a fan of New Year’s Eve- never have been. The thought of going out surrounded by crowds, drunk people, and then the dreaded public transport home, or even worse, being the designated driver who has to suffer through those drunken crowds whilst being completely sober- yuck! I could think of nothing worse, which is why I enjoyed a quiet night in with a couple of friends and a glass or two (or three…) of punch!
But, what I do LOVE, is the feeling a new year brings. The feeling that anything is possible, that my hopes and dreams may actually come true, that the goals I set myself (pretty sure getting fit and losing weight has been one of my goals for the last 5 years. Minimum.) may actually be achieved, and the overall feeling of a ‘blank canvas’. I love it. It fills me with hope, empowers, and motivates me. For at least a week or two. Then life kicks in and I realise that nothing actually changed between 12.00am and 12.01am on New Year’s Eve. I quickly lose track of my hopes and goals; returning to my bad habits and lazy ways.
This year will be different, I’m sure of it. This year, I plan to keep hold of my hopes, my dreams, and my goals. I plan to keep feeling motivated and empowered to be the person I want to be, achieve the things I want to achieve, and to live the life I want to live.
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Los Angeles Freelance Writer • Comedian • Photographer •