The ‘Happy Wives Club’s both a blog, a book, and in my opinion, an interesting read for those potential marriage cynics like myself.
It appears that the media continues to portray marriage in such a negative light, that even I found myself adopting this pessimistic view of what should be a beautiful commitment between two people. I specify ‘two people’ here and not merely a man and woman, because I firmly believe that marriage, in all it’s glory, is a right that should be open to all; heterosexual, homosexual, transgender, and so forth. Times are changing and yet those who hold such ignorant views are not changing with them. How is it I ask you, that a heterosexual couple can marry and divorce so easily and quickly, like its the most normal thing in the world, and yet a homosexual couple aren’t even given the basic right to marry, let alone divorce? Who are we as a society to take away this right, to decide that a homosexual relationship cannot be legally recognised or celebrated? Who are we to devalue another’s relationship, a relationship that we know nothing about, other than what gender they are? I feel very passionate about gay rights, however that is not what the ‘Happy Wives Club’ is about and therefore I will table that particular issue for another post.
The ‘Happy Wives Club’ is about a woman, Fawn Weaver, who grew so tired of all the negative publicity marriage was receiving in the media, that she decided to start a blog in which happily married women could share their stories about their happy marriages and how they achieved such great happiness. The blog soon developed and Fawn found herself planning a trip around the world to visit women who had written and subscribed to the ‘Happy Wives Club’, in all different countries and cultures, to discuss their views on what constitutes a happy marriage, and what it means to be happy wife.
Within the pages of this book Fawn shares the experiences of her travels, including her discoveries and self-reflections which challenged her to take risks, to love greater and more deeply, and to open herself up to change and all it’s facets.
Fawn discovered 12 key elements that were present with all the wives and couples she met, irrespective of country or culture.
- Respect: A key element amongst all the people Fawn met was respect. Mutual respect to be exact.
- Trust: An essential element that appeared to be a natural follow on from having mutual respect.
- God: This secret I’m not 100% sure about. But that is because I am not 100% sure about my own feelings and beliefs toward God. However, Fawn established that whilst not all couples agreed on what or who constitutes God, they all appeared to believe in a higher being, someone or something greater than themselves.
- Laughter: Now this secret I agree with! Laughter, Fawn established, was a key ingredient to a happy marriage. Having fun with your spouse, laughing together, and at one another, is imperative to a happy marriage.
- Separate Interests: Whilst it’s important to have shared interests, Fawn discovered how important it is to have hobbies and interests outside of the marriage in order to keep your independence and refrain from ‘smothering’ one another.
- Daily Ritual: A common theme amongst couples Fawn met was that they all had daily rituals. Be it coffee together in the morning, cooking dinner at night, a phone call during the day, and various others. These rituals served as a daily connection, and a ‘constant’ in what can often be a hectic life. These rituals or daily connections coincide with day to day trust.
- Date your spouse: Regular ‘dates’ were a common theme, particularly with couples who had children.
- Mutual Support: Each couple supported one another through challenges, changes, as well as happy times. They encouraged and supported one another’s hopes and dreams.
- Friendship: All couples reported that their husband/wife was their best friend. Marriage is a friendship between two people that has been built and established over many years.
- Nurture your marriage: Fawn discovered that every couple she met said their marriage was the number one relationship in their lives. They put their marriage ahead of all the other relationships they had.
- NO Plan B: Each couple decided from the outset, or at the very latest within the first year or two of marriage, that there would be no plan B. Divorce was taken out of the equation, which inturn encouraged them to be more patient with one another, and to learn how to develop and grow together.
- Choose friends wisely: Being selective about the friends and people who came into their lives was common. Couples stated that they surrounded themselves with people who bought positivity, love, and trust to their world. People who believed in the power of love and marriage just as much as they did.
‘Happy Wives Club’ is not only an interesting read for the married, or soon to be married, but also for those with a love of travel. Fawn shares lots of experiences and stories from her travels, outside of those relating to marriage.
Definitely worth a read!