‘It’s never too late, to be who you might of been’
– George Eliot
Lately I feel like I’m a spectator in life, watching from the sidelines as life passes me by.
If I’m honest, I’ve felt this way for some time now, I’ve just never taken the steps to make the necessary changes.
I fear that I spend too much time thinking about things and not enough time actually doing them. Perhaps I’m a talker and not a doer (Well, no perhaps needed!). Is it possible to spend so much time talking that you forget to actually do? Is it possible to spend your life talking about the type of life you want to be living, instead of simply living it? Thinking about the type of person you want to be, instead of simply being?
But how does a talker transform into a doer? How does a spectator become the star player?
I plan to immerse myself in living a more mindful life (or at the very least, TRY!). To be present in each moment, to discover and follow my dreams, to enjoy the small moments, to live a life that I’ll one day look back upon with a smile on my face, and love in my heart.
Each day is a new beginning.
Today is my new beginning.
They say ‘time flies when your having fun’. I feel this saying could also translate to ‘time flies when your busy, stressed, exhausted, have a baby, and feeling somewhat overwhelmed by life’. The last couple of months have been very busy and stressful in our household, hence my poor commitment to writing! How quickly we let our goals and things we enjoy fall by the wayside when life throws us a few curve balls.
My sister and I have been doing a lot of self reflecting in the lead up to the new year. We’ve been discussing areas we would like to improve in ourselves, our life, and the goals we’d like to achieve in the next 12 months. During this process we laughed at how we probably had similar (or to be honest in my case, the same!!) goals and thoughts this time last year. This made me wonder, how, or why does this happen? Am I simply unable to commit to a goal? Am I lacking motivation? Is my desire to achieve said goal simply not strong enough? Or am I too busy planning for the future that I don’t live for today?
It’s funny the things we take for granted in life; our morning coffee, our friends and family, our hopes and dreams, and the promise of a new day.
Few of us live each day like it may be the last. We often go to bed on an argument, leave words unspoken, put things off till tomorrow, and let our dreams fall by the wayside. We live for tomorrow, without even knowing it. We constantly plan for the future, but forget about today.
Why do we so often focus on the future and what may happen, and let today, the present moment, pass us by?
I confess that I am guilty of all the above. I am forever making plans, goals, and lists for the future, which often results in nothing being achieved as I am so busy thinking and planning for tomorrow and beyond that I forget about today. I go to bed on an argument and often leave words unspoken, always taking for granted that tomorrow will be there.
I wonder what life would be like, living in the present moment and giving it your all. To focus solely on the here and now and not what tomorrow may bring. Would life be happier? Easier? More fulfilling? Would more be achieved? Relationships improved?
Is it possible to truly live in the moment? If yes, how?
I’m starting to think the old ‘I just had a baby’ excuse is wearing a little thin when it comes to my weight! My daughter is 16 weeks old and I swear at times you’d think I was adopting the eating for two attitude that happens during pregnancy.
I decided this morning that enough is enough and I’m tired (literally!!) of struggling to get dressed in the mornings because I’m not comfortably fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes, nor my pregnancy clothes. Leggings can only take a girl so far!
So, the only thing I know will help my waistline, my energy, my skin, and my moods, is to give up the white stuff! My dear old friend, sugar. We’ve had fun together over this last year, we were together every day, but it’s time to say good bye.
This isn’t my first time letting go, hence I’m hoping it may be easier this time round, though secretly I know that won’t the the case. Sugar is addictive and effects your body and life in ways you can’t imagine.
During the next 12 weeks I will be keeping a daily blog of how I am travelling; the highs and lows, the effect on my moods, my weight, my energy levels, and my overall experience of living sugar-free. My goal is to improve my quality of life by losing weight, obtaining more energy, having a more stabilised mood, improving my overall physical health, and rebuilding my self-confidence.
- I will not consume any food or drink that contains more than 5g of sugar per 100g or 100mls. The idea behind this is that we are limiting the amount of fructose (the bad sugar!) that we consume. Dairy is the only exception given that the first 4.7g per 100g in dairy is lactose. Therefore, we would minus 4.7g from the total per 100g in any dairy product.
- I will not consume any form of junk or processed food for 12 weeks.
- I will limit my fruit consumption to a maximum of 2 whole fruits per day (no dried fruit). A lot of research suggests no fruits during the detox phase, however I enjoy my fruit and don’t feel it is something that I need to learn to live without.
- I will not consume any soft drink, fruit juice, or other beverages that contain sugar.
- I will continue to educate myself on the benefits of living sugar free
Wish me luck! And my family, from memory, I was a little crazy in the early days without my sweet friend!!
Oh, and by the way, I already had a chocolate bar today in preperation for what tomorrow brings!! Hmm…not sure that’s a good start!!
I feel blessed to have a husband who is very hands on with our baby girl.
He genuinely enjoys feeding, bathing, and playing with her. He walks in the door from work and wants to feed and bath her, whichever is still needed, despite me saying no, and telling him to relax.
I have however, been surprised by how many people have commented on how lucky I am to have a husband who feeds, bathes, and when needed, even does the overnight feed. When our daughter cries, he too will respond. When our daughter needs feeding, he is happy to feed her. When our daughter needs an evening bath, he is happy to bathe her. Why though, am I lucky? Why am I lucky that my husband, the father of my daughter, is happy to do these things? The decision to have a baby was a joint one. We both decided we wanted to have a child and knew all that this entailed (or at least what we thought it entailed!!). We both knew it would be hard and would take some sacrifice (sleep, for example!), therefore why am I lucky? Why is my husband praised for feeding and looking after his daughter, yet for me, it is simply expected and without recognition? I understand my husband goes to work each day, however, there have been many days where I have honestly felt that going into an office versus staying home, was the easy option. I’m curious, when I return to work in the coming months, and still need to feed my baby girl over night and attend to all her needs, will I then receive such praise? Will I be praised for looking after my daughter? I think not.
Therefore, I ask again, why am I lucky that my husband, who chose to become a father, is happy to help look after his daughter? Why are mothers not receiving the same recognition and praise that these so called helping fathers are?
My beautiful little girl is 16 weeks old and what a 16 weeks it has been!
I did a lot of ready prior to my daughters arrival; baby books, magazines, websites, anything baby related, I read it. Despite all my reading, I was immensely ill prepared for all that motherhood brought to my life. None of the books prepare you for how overwhelming the whole experience is. From labour, to the intense feeling of love you feel for this little person that you barely know. The fear of not knowing what to do or how to look after this tiny human who is solely dependent on you. The pressure you feel to be a breastfeeding goddess because according to many, breast is best, and anything else is subpar. The impact that hormones still play on your body and emotions, even though your baby has arrived. And then comes the almighty impact that sleep deprivation plays on, well, quite frankly, everything! I have experienced tiredness in my life, particularly during pregnancy with all those middle of the night toilet runs, but nothing quite compares to what happens once bub arrives. Sleep deprivation has left me feeling all kinds of emotions from sad to angry, and everything inbetween. It’s made me do things that I ordinarily wouldn’t have done, it’s made me grumpy, teary, histerical, and simply hard to live with, just ask my husband!
I wish the other side of motherhood was discussed more openly and freely; the honest and realistic side. The side that says it’s okay to not want to parent some days, to wish more than anything that your little one would stop crying or sleep a little longer just so you can have some quiet time to yourself (or a shower!), to reassure you that it’s okay to miss the freedom you had prior to your little ones arrival, and to simply feel a little lost. I’ve only been a mother for 16 weeks and I can honestly say, it is hard work! Rewarding yes, but hard nonetheless. Having my daughter has brought so much love and light to my life, however it has also changed my life in ways I didn’t expect.
If more women spoke about the less glamourous side of motherhood, perhaps women would feel more prepaed, and a little less alone on their journey.